Being In A Relationship With A Depressed Person – 5 signs depression is damaging your relationship — and what to do about it
Depression can sometimes cause stress in the marriages and relationships of people with depression and their non-depressive partners. But experts say there are ways couples can overcome these difficulties together.
Being In A Relationship With A Depressed Person
Isolating yourself from your partner may be a sign that depression is having a negative impact on your relationship. Rob and Julia Campbell/Stokey
How Does Depression Affect Romantic Relationships?
Research says depression can affect many aspects of people’s lives, including romantic relationships and marriages.
While the exact causes of relationship stress vary from couple to couple, one of the main reasons may be common symptoms of depression, such as irritability, loss of interest or enjoyment in activities you once enjoyed, fatigue, and lack of energy. Affects interpersonal relationships.
For example, “Some people with depression may feel guilty about not having the energy to spend time with their partners, but they may feel trapped by their symptoms of depression,” says Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa of New York City explain. – Founding clinical psychologist and consultant of the Hope Depression Research Foundation. “Even though they know it’s good for them to do things with their partner, sometimes they don’t have the energy and stamina.”
If depression is negatively affecting your relationship, it’s important to work with your partner to treat it. In fact, failing to do so can have serious consequences. A study of more than 20,200 Norwegian married couples, published in 2015
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Research shows that couples where one partner experiences some form of mental distress, such as depression, have significantly higher divorce rates than couples who do not.
Here are five signs depression is damaging your relationship (plus five tips for mitigating its impact).
According to the Cleveland Clinic, anhedonia—a loss of interest, enjoyment, or pleasure in things you once enjoyed—is a symptom of depression.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, if you suffer from depression, the condition can affect every aspect of your life, including activities that you once found fun and that once made you happy. For some partners who don’t have depression, this can be difficult to understand.
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“If a couple usually enjoys going out to see movies, eating, and hanging out with mutual friends, and one partner is giving up those activities because of depression, this may become a point of contention for the other partner,” Stacey Neal explain. A. Psychiatrist, MD, Kaiser Permanente, Baltimore.
According to the Mayo Clinic, depression is associated with low self-esteem and self-criticism. Dr. Lila de la Rosa explains that this can make some people and situations feel like there’s something wrong with them and that others around them – including their partners – are judging them. Know if their partner really wants to be in a relationship with them, he added.
“Some partners may internalize that something is wrong, and they may feel like their partner is not finding what they were looking for,” says Lila de la Rosa. “This may mean they spend time alone and may not tell When their partner wants to do some activities together.”
“This may lead, for example, to people with depression not sharing the difficulties they are going through with their partners or seeking support from their partners,” says Lila de la Rosa. “As a result, the other person in the relationship may not know what is going on and how to best support their partner.”
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The Mayo Clinic says getting support from loved ones can be a key part of managing depression, and being isolated from others can make your symptoms worse.
While all couples have conflicts—and some, experts say, are treatable—conflicts tend to occur more frequently if one partner suffers from depression. Research shows that compared to people without depression, many people with depression have more negative than positive interactions with their partners.
One possible reason: Increased sensitivity and sensitivity are common symptoms of depression. Sometimes in a relationship, these symptoms can lead to seemingly small or dangerous problems for the partner, such as joking that may be misinterpreted by the depressed partner, Dr. Neal said.
Another misunderstanding that Lila de la Rosa often sees among her patients has to do with not knowing the best ways to support each other. For example, a depressed partner may feel like their partner isn’t checking in on them in a way they find helpful, or that their partner doesn’t care. “In fact, another couple could try to get checked out and offer support, but were turned away,” Lila de la Rosa said.
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She added: “This can create a circle where they feel they are not getting the support they need, but they may not realize that their actions and feelings are alienating those who are supportive.”
If you find that depression is hindering your sex life, you’re not alone. Studies show that depression causes sexual dysfunction in nearly 83% of women and 63% of men.
This can happen for a variety of reasons, including symptoms such as fatigue and lack of energy. What’s more, according to the Mayo Clinic, some antidepressant medications can weaken sexual desire, cause erectile dysfunction, or make it more difficult to achieve orgasm.
If depression has a negative impact on your sex life, it can cause some challenges in relationships. Sexual issues may be something you fear, which may be contributing to your symptoms of depression. Or, for example, some couples don’t understand why they’re having less sex and may feel confused or even hurt by it.
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Although living with depression can feel overwhelming, the good news is that there are steps people can take to feel better, which in turn can help improve romantic relationships. These five tips can help.
One of the best ways to reduce the impact of depression on your relationship is to make sure your symptoms are treated. To get the most relief from your symptoms, it’s important to stay with treatment (or seek treatment from a mental health professional if you haven’t already). According to the Mayo Clinic, psychotherapy and medication are the most common and effective treatments for depression.
The JED Foundation, a nonprofit dedicated to improving emotional health, says learning and practicing healthy communication skills, such as being respectfully honest with one another, validating each other’s feelings and seeking compromises, can help couples manage challenges together and prevent them. Suicide in adolescents and adults.
Get Help With Low Mood, Sadness Or Depression
By attending therapy or counseling together, couples can learn how to deal with symptoms of depression and other issues together as a team, according to the Institute for Family Studies at Northwestern University. It’s also a great way to learn and practice healthy communication skills.
As they say, you can’t eat from an empty cup. According to the intimate partner violence prevention organization Love Is Respect, self-care (any activity you do to take care of yourself to stay healthy, fit, and productive) is a key part of a healthy relationship. According to the McNulty Center for Counseling and Wellness, practicing self-care regularly can help you feel better and make you a more present partner.
As mentioned earlier, there are many reasons why depression can put stress on your sex life, including decreased libido, sexual dysfunction, and side effects of antidepressant medications.
If you feel like depression is having a negative impact on your sex life (and your relationships), there are things you can do to lessen its impact. First, it can be helpful to talk to your partner about what you’re going through and why your depression is affecting your libido, according to the Mayo Clinic. If both parties are ready to be intimate again, it can help to start small and slowly and gradually ease into it.
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It’s also helpful to discuss what you’re experiencing with your doctor, as this can help you narrow down the cause. For example, if you’re taking antidepressants and the sexual side effects they cause don’t go away, your doctor may choose to adjust your medication dosage or switch you to a different medication, according to the Mayo Clinic.
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